


Stars and Dreams

by SpaceCat



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:58:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCat/pseuds/SpaceCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After "A Spider in the Web" Susan helps Talia with the aftereffects of Taro Isogi's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars and Dreams

# Stars and Dreams

"Damn." Talia Winters dropped her morning bagel onto the plate and swore softly with a sigh. The shadow of Commander Ivanova disappeared as the dark haired woman exited the Zocalo.

The telepath was sitting at her usual breakfast spot waiting to catch a glimpse of her favorite person, but absorbed in her thoughts and fantasies, missed her opportunity. "Might as well start the day." With another sigh she paid her tab and set off for her first appointment.

~.~

Her final negotiation that evening had run very late, and Talia was tired. Lost in her own thoughts, she forgot to take her new route home. There were only a few other people in the corridors as she walked back, but one of them bumped into her as she rounded a corner. With a muttered "Sorry," he hurried on his way without giving her a glance. Startled, she looked up and realized just where she was. There, a mere ten paces in front of her, was where Abel Horn had attacked and killed her friend Taro Isogi, and very nearly her.

She panicked suddenly, reliving the whole scene... feeling the hardness of the deck where Horn had thrown her, the heat of the electrical surge he had put out, and smelling the ozone and burnt flesh that resulted. Nauseous, she stumbled backwards, going back around the corner, with her blood roaring in her ears and her heart pounding. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, she fell against the wall heavily.

She didn't know how much time passed as she tried to regain control over herself. From a great distance a voice finally reached her, calling her name. "Ms. Winters? Are you all right?" A hand gently squeezed her shoulder. "Talia?" Focusing with great difficulty, Talia looked up to see Commander Ivanova's face as though at the end of a long tunnel, but couldn't speak through her chattering teeth.

Ivanova sighed. She'd seen this occasionally in young pilots after their first serious combat. The moment of greatest fear returns full force, transporting them back to relive it over and over. Locked completely in that moment, their senses are overwhelmed, blocking out the present and their surroundings. Keeping her voice low, Ivanova said, "You're going to be all right." She pulled one of Talia's gloved hands away from her body, wincing at the telepath's grip.

Someone walked by and paused for a moment, eyeing them uncertainly. Ivanova gave him a look that made him scurry off quickly, then leaned her other arm against the wall, using her body as a kind of shield to form an enclosed space around the shivering telepath. "Concentrate on taking deep slow breaths, ok? It'll pass in a minute."

"Thank you," Talia whispered hoarsely after several shaky gasps.

"Have you had these happen before?"

Talia nodded. "Once or twice. I finally stopped coming this way, but I must have been distracted today and forgot."

Ivanova took a step to the side and peeked around the corner, a difficult operation, as Talia wouldn't let go of her hand. "What's so frightening about this spot?"

"That's where..." Talia took a deep breath, "where Taro was killed."

"Ah." Ivanova nodded in understanding. She gently shook the hand that Talia was still holding onto. "You don't have to grip it quite so hard, you know," she said with a raised eyebrow and a solemn twinkle.

Talia's clasp relaxed slightly and she gave Ivanova an apologetic, if half-hearted, smile. "Sorry."

"Do you want me to see you to your quarters? You look a little tired; maybe you should get some rest."

"I suppose." Talia sighed. "Not that I've been getting much sleep."

"Nightmares?" Ivanova asked, sympathetically.

Talia nodded reluctantly. "I keep seeing Horn and Taro's deaths all mixed up, over and over."

"They take a while to fade sometimes, I know."

"You have nightmares?" Talia looked up at Ivanova in surprise.

Ivanova cleared her throat lightly, deciding how much to reveal. "Occasionally if I've lost someone under my command on a combat mission, it can haunt me." She gave Talia a faint smile. "Perils of being an officer," she said quietly.

"I never would have guessed," said Talia in surprise. "You always seem so impervious and in control."

"Yes, it's a pretty good act, isn't it?" Ivanova said, with rare self-deprecating humor.

Talia smiled genuinely at that. This was a whole new side of the aloof Commander that she'd never seen before.

"You know what helps me sometimes?" Ivanova said suddenly.

"No, what?" Talia was willing to go along with whatever idea the Commander had, taking full advantage of this seeming truce. Ivanova's moods were often mercurial, so there was no telling when she'd get another opportunity like this one.

"What you need is a distraction," Ivanova said knowledgably. "Something to kick your mind out of whatever track it's fallen into." She checked the time on her link. "I know just the thing. Come on." She held an arm out for the telepath, and they started back towards blue sector.

"Where are we going, Commander?" Talia asked, taking the proffered arm gratefully.

"Observation Dome. And you may call me Susan."

~.~

The Observation Dome was empty and dark at this hour. Without bothering to turn on any lights, Susan guided them unerringly to the currently-opaque main viewing window. "Computer, clear window," Susan commanded. Instantly it became perfectly transparent. The outward bow of the window gave the impression of magnification, and when you stood forward, close up against the glass, the rest of the room seemed to fall away, and you felt surrounded by the glorious view.

Talia gasped in awe. In the center of the field before them, was the shadowed bulk of Epsilon 3, seemingly right beneath their feet. Just off its upper right quadrant was the brightness of the star Epsilon, about the size of a full moon on Earth. Dimmed by its intensity, but still faintly visible were an uncountable number of stars all around them. "It's beautiful," Talia breathed softly and reverently.

"Just watch," Susan said, just as quietly. "It gets better."

Talia, still holding Susan's arm, shifted closer, and Susan felt an unexpected warmth in her proximity. Together they watched as Epsilon sank lower and lower, until its bright disk touched the edge of the planet below. As it went further into eclipse, its light caught the dust motes of the planet's thin atmosphere, and flared brilliantly red and orange in bright rays that reached out to them. It illuminated a bright arc along edge of the planet stretching out for many degrees on either side of the distant sun, spilling over to light part of the rocky ground.

They remained silent as the last piece of Epsilon slipped completely behind the planet, leaving its last rays to soften to a quiet glow, until that too finally disappeared. Looking back at the rest of the view, Talia gasped again. She had been paying such close attention to the 'sunset' that she had forgotten to watch the stars. The planet below was now nearly invisible, seen only as a black silhouette against the field of stars. With the brightness of Epsilon hidden, their numbers had exploded and covered the entire field of view with a multitude of diamonds – if diamonds could have shone half so brightly. With no atmosphere to obscure their beauty, they shone steadily, without twinkle, like scattered footsteps of gods.

Susan spoke barely above a whisper. "Some people feel lonely in space, but I never have. Sometimes," she paused as if preparing to reveal a secret, and perhaps she was, "I take my starfighter past the edge of the planetary system and face outwards so that I'm surrounded by nothing but stars. They seem even closer from the cockpit, like you could reach out and touch them. I could sit there forever, just looking at them." She paused again and lowered her voice still further. "And when I return, they follow me into my dreams... and sing to me." She was almost talking to herself now, in a rare contemplative mood.

Talia cautiously lowered her mental blocks to pick up whatever she could of Susan's projected emotions, but all she could feel were the warm solid emanations of a mind at peace, if only temporarily. The silence continued, until the telepath finally asked in a whisper, "What do they say?"

Susan didn't seem to mind the question. "I don't know... it's just a wordless multitude of beautiful voices." Her voice trailed away again, caught up in the memory.

They stood motionless in the silence and grandeur for a long time, until Susan finally shifted, breaking the spell. She turned slightly towards Talia. "Would you like me to walk you to your quarters now?" Her voice held the same soft tone.

Talia nodded. She looked up into Susan's eyes about to speak, then stopped, entranced. The Commander's steel blue eyes were silver in the starlit dimness, and held a profound serenity that she'd never seen in them before. She could swear that she saw all of the stars reflected there. "I'd like that very much."

They walked back to red sector in a companionable and comfortable silence, still arm-in-arm. When they reached Talia's door, the telepath turned and once again lost herself in those eyes. She felt exposed yet unafraid, as if a barrier between them had melted away. She could see directly into that complex Russian soul, knowing that it was looking right back.

At last she leaned in and gave Susan a light but lingering kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said softly. She hoped that this new rapport would still be there tomorrow, but even if it wasn't, Talia knew that tonight her dreams would be full of stars and silver-blue eyes.

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, suggestions, insults, or typos can be directed here: atomic.space.kitteh [at] gmail [dot] com  
> =^..^=


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